


Ho Ho Ho

by CGotAnAccount



Series: ADVENTure Is Out There! [12]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bad christmas puns, Keith is a being of pure thirst, M/M, SHEITH - Freeform, Shiro is a hot Santa, author does not apologize
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 19:07:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21763624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CGotAnAccount/pseuds/CGotAnAccount
Summary: “Oh my god.” Lance stares at them in horror as Santa gives his daughter a hug and crooks a finger at Keith. “You've ruined Christmas.”“No,” Keith drawls as he pushes off the candy cane to saunter over to them. “I'm hoping Christmas is going to ruin me.”
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Series: ADVENTure Is Out There! [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558660
Comments: 93
Kudos: 357





	Ho Ho Ho

**Author's Note:**

> Day 12 of ADVENTures! I'm disgustingly proud of this one :P

Babysitting wasn't ever particularly high on the list of things Keith saw himself doing in the future, especially not babysitting anything that came out of Lance's swampy gene pool - but life has a way of taking funny twists.

Like the one that led Allura to whatever insidious brain trauma caused her to marry Lance and agree to have his kid. Or the one that turned his Saturdays from alone time to 'please Keith, can you take the twins, I just really need a nap' time.

He loves Allura, he really does. He just wishes the twins didn't mean Lance and their six year old daughter.

“Hey mullet, are you gonna ask Santa for a boyfriend this year?” Lance snickers as they wander through the mall, each holding the hand of the sweet little girl Keith refuses to believe came from him. “He might bring you one if you've been a good boy.”

“Shove it, Lance.” Keith grumbles, glaring straight ahead as they creep closer to the festive monstrosity set up near the food court. Allura had wanted pictures of her little girl with Santa this year, and Keith wasn't going to ruin it by decking her husband. “I'm not asking Santa for anything.”

“Uncle Keef!” Angie pipes up, all bright eyes and missing teeth as she stares up at him in consternation. “Do you want me to ask Santa for you?” Her tiny fingers squeeze down on his hand as she tugs him closer. “Momma says you don't have to be afraid of him, but it's okay if you are.”

Lance sputters a laugh into his free hand as Keith tries not to let the twitch in his eye show.

“That's very nice of you Angie.” He squeezes back and smiles down at her. “But I think Santa probably has better things to do... there's lots of little kids that need things, right?”

She doesn't look convinced as she squints up at him, the spitting image of her mother as her little lips purse, but the obnoxious tinny music of the makeshift Santa's workshop saves him from further argument. It's almost worth spending his day off with Lance when her little eyes light up and she tugs them forward as fast as she can manage.

“Look, it's Santa!”

Keith plasters on his best excited smile as he gets dragged under an arch of fake pine boughs into a fenced in area full of sugar high tots. The things he does for love. He tries to keep his eyes locked somewhere around Angie's head without prompting further discussion of what he wants for Christmas, while simultaneously attempting to dissociate entirely and astrally project himself somewhere with fewer screaming children.

It doesn't work, but Lance's low whistle makes him try a little harder.

“ _Damn_ ,” he mutters, eyes wide as he stares into the cheery hut. “Santa's been hitting the gym hard.”

That gets Keith's attention enough to spare a glance over toward the hut, fully expecting to see some middle aged man with a dad bod that Lance's twiggy ass thinks is in good shape.

He doesn't expect to see Adonis himself in a fake beard and suit, bouncing a kid on his knee as he laughs like he's having the time of his life.

“Holy shit,” Keith wheezes, bracing his hand on a giant candy cane to steady himself beneath the crushing wave of thirst. “Who is _that_?”

“Uncle Keef.” Angie's tone is about as deadpan as a six year old can get as she aims her little frown up at him. “That's Santa, duh.”

“Right,” Keith coughs out, not taking his eyes off the man as his arms flex beneath the red velvet of his coat. The costume is working overtime, fabric straining to contain him, but it certainly isn't a cookies and milk belly underneath it. “Sorry Angie, I didn't recognize him.”

“Yeah, sweetheart,” Lance snickers, crouching down to stage whisper in her ear as he shoots a grin up at Keith. “He's just a little thirsty, Santa's got him sweating cause he's probably on the naughty list.”

Surrounded by children as he is, Keith can't properly retaliate – but it's not like Lance is wrong. He'd pay good money to be on that man's naughty list if given the chance. Not even the fake beard can hide the perfect square jaw beneath it – a seat carved from the finest marble just for Keith.

There's no way he's escaping this with dignity intact... might as well go all in.

“Angie, sweetie, can you do Uncle Keith a favor?” He crouches down next to her and smiles encouragingly, ignoring Lance's immediate suspicion. “Can you ask Santa if I can have a ride in his sleigh this year?”

“Sure!” Angie chirps, skipping off toward the front of the line as Lance sputters.

“You!” One bony finger gets thrust in Keith's face as he fumes. “Don't drag my kid into your slutty endeavors!”

Keith shrugs, utterly unapologetic as he turns his attention back to the man of his wet dreams. “Don't make it weird, I really like reindeer.”

“You wouldn't know a reindeer if one came over here and stomped you to death.”

“Maybe not.” Keith shrugs, giving Angie a wave as she steps up to the elves to tell them her name. “But I'd sure let that guy break my back either way, so what's it matter?”

“You are the _worst_ ,” Lance groans, covering his eyes with a hand as his daughter skips right up to the grade A beef. “Sullying Christmas with your lustful and impure ways.”

“Pipe down,” Keith shushes him, straining to hear as Angie points over at him, chattering animatedly. Santa's eyebrows rise as she talks, turning to lock eyes with Keith – who gives him a wink and a wave in return.

Santa's answering crooked grin should be on a toothpaste commercial.

“Oh my god.” Lance stares at them in horror as Santa gives his daughter a hug and crooks a finger at Keith. “You've ruined Christmas.”

“No,” Keith drawls as he pushes off the candy cane to saunter over to them. “I'm hoping Christmas is going to ruin me.”

He lets his hips sway as he approaches them, catching Angie's little hands in his as she reaches up to hug him.

“Uncle Keef!” She bounces onto her toes with a gap-toothed smile, proud of herself as she makes an awful attempt at a whisper. “I told Santa you wanted a boyfriend this year too!”

“Did you now?” Keith feels his eyebrows shoot up as he darts a look above her head to the twinkling eyes of Mr. Claus. “Well that's very helpful of you Angie, why don't you go tell your dad?”

“Okay!”

Then she's scurrying off, leaving Keith to straighten up and grin at the hot guy stuck in the Santa suit who happens to be looking intently right back at him.

“Well hello there, little boy.” Santa pats his knee with a teasing arch to his brow and beckons Keith in with the other hand. “Come sit on Santa's lap.”

“Gladly.” Keith takes the outstretched hand and settles himself on one thick thigh, letting one hand rest on either side of him to brush the soft fabric on Santa's hip and knee. “I haven't been the best boy this year, but I'll take whatever you can give me.”

The man's eyes flash and one hand curls around Keith's waist, squeezing there with what Keith hopes is a promise. “Even naughty boys still get presents.” Santa laughs, not dropping his jolly act for a second despite the not so subtle charge between them. “But Santa doesn't have his sleigh with him today.”

“That's a shame,” Keith sighs, letting his fingers trace circles on Santa's knee. “Can you at least bounce me on your lap this year?” He bites his lip and lets his eyes trail all the way down to his seat. “I promise I'll be a good boy.”

Santa almost breaks, swallowing hard under the sultry gaze, fingers clenching into Keith's hip in a way he hopes leaves marks for later.

“Well little boy, Santa gets off at five.” He rumbles with a steel grey wink. The thigh underneath Keith's ass bounces him like he's no bigger than the kids before him - with the promise of more strength where that came from. “If you're naughty enough you might be getting off at six.”

“Perfect,” Keith breathes, leaning in to run a hand down the fur-trimmed coat, fiddling with the buttons as he goes. “I'll bring the cookies if you bring the milk.”

“ _Christ,_ ” Santa curses, swallowing hard as he shifts in the chair. His eyes darken, looking at Keith like he wants to devour him. He squeezes Keith's hip again, anchoring him down into his lap as he turns to his helpers. “Anybody got a marker for Santa?”

“Really?” One of the elves groans and produces a sharpie, shaggy hair sticking out haphazardly from the jingling hat and he shakes his head in disgust. “Right in front of my candy canes?”

“Don't get on my naughty list, Matt.” Santa smirks back, popping the cap off and raising it to Keith's arm with a questioning brow. “Would you like the number for the North Pole?”

Keith's answering smirk can only be described as lecherous as he lifts his arm with a wink.

“Only if I get to feel the South Pole later.”

Three minutes later Keith strolls out of Santa's workshop with a peck on his cheek and a number on his arm, swaggering right up to Lance's horrified face. He crouches down and holds out his hand for a fist bump, smiling down at Angie as she dances around in excitement.

“Santa gave you a smooch!” She crows, punching his knuckles over and over with her tiny fists. “I saw him! You're going to be Santa's boyfriend!”

Lance is far less amused.

“Alright Vixen, are you done getting your bells jingled?”

“Hardly,” Keith sniffs, hauling Angie up to plant her on his hip as he wiggles his eyebrows in a classically Lance move. “That's later, when he takes me on the sleigh ride.”

Defeated, Lance throws his hands in the air and shuffles after them. Keith grins at the marker on his arm, hefting Angie higher with a jaunty tune on his lips.

“Merry Christmas to me...”


End file.
